Hot Hugh and Bad Brad - Oscars 2009 Posted by Kiki and Sassy 24 February, 2009 - 6:44 PM

When it comes to the Oscars, everyone knows that the little gold man is really just the consolation prize.  It's the public who decide the real winners and losers on the night. And by the public, we mean us.
 
For us, Sarah Jessica Parker's amazing Dior couture gown was the high point of the night. Queen of the red carpet! Hardly a suprise considering her history of sartorial fierceness. The dress was floaty and whimsical without being costumey. We just wish her hair didn't look like so... bad. There's no other adjective for it. Also, the new brunette colour looks like she whacked on a bit of Napro Live in her bathroom at the last minute. No wait, she spruiks Garnier doesn't she? Whatever, her hair was gross.
 
We are also convinced that Zac Efron is The Most Adorable Boy In The Universe. We almost wrote 'man' but that is clearly an overstatement of fact.  Zac looked flawless. He glided up the red carpet like an angel in a tux, and posed for about five hours. We especially loved his slicked back 'I am a serious actor' hair and beautifully applied foundation.
 
Just when we think he couldn't get more incredible, he stepped out on stage in a top hat and tails to perform with Hugh Jackman. Apparently there was other celebrities on the stage, but to us it was the Jackman and Efron show. If Baz Lurhmann had have partnered them up we would have died of joy. We think Zac may have done the same.
 
As for best film? Best actor? Who the hell cares! Ask anyone with a clue and they will tell you the true winner of the night was Australia's own Hugh Jackman. HUGH HUGH HUGH! You know it's true.
We thought it was just us mere mortals that are enamoured with him, but after seeing the crowd of esteemed actors gazing up at him with adoration we've realised loving Hugh is a universal human truth. His flirting was enough to make the poised Meryl Streep giggle like a schoolgirl. Our favourite moments were him climbing into Frank Langella's lap and making a gay joke, and cracking up during his robot dance about The Reader. AMAZING.
 
There was also a massive loser on the night.  And that loser was fashion.  Sure SJP was delightful (plus Marion Cotillard and Leslie Mann looked pretty fierce), but Miley Cyrus took it that little bit too far in her sequinned explosion, don't you think?  It's adorable to wear a dress that reminds you of your childhood dolls, but just kind of awkward to show up at the Oscars looking like you rolled in glue and glitter before you left the house.
 
Beyonce managed to combine severe discomfort with an incredibly ugly fishtail dress for her moment on the red carpet. Vanessa Hudgens possibly got lost on her way to a Year 10 formal. Her dress was allegedly Marchesa, but we suspect that Mama Hudgens whipped it up in a Lincraft sewing class. She has an amazing ability to make everything she wears look horrifically cheap. Congrats Vanessa!
 
Angelina Jolie rocked up in a black dress with a smug look on her face. In other news, the sky is blue.
 
Kate Winslet and Jessica Biel should fire their hairdressers immediately.  Kate's helmet distracted us from her entire emotional acceptance speech, and perhaps if Jessica had taken a little time to wash her lank disgusting hair before the night, Justin Timberlake would have been willing to show up next to her.  Jennifer Aniston wore that cute little braid and John Mayer was all over her in the press room.
 
We'd also comment on Alicia Keys' hair, but we're not completely certain what it was.  A wig? A weave? A craft project? A raccoon?
 
And while we swooned like crazy for James Franco, Robert Downey Jr and Hugh Jackman, the mean men of the night left us cold.  Sean Penn brushed off his incredibly beautiful and emotional wife Robin Wright Penn when he won his Oscar ... then didn't even mention her in his speech.  Crazy!  Did you see how beautiful she looked in the red carpet video?  Perhaps he is still in love with Franco after their on screen sexytimes. Hey, he's only human.
 
And Brad Pitt clearly didn't want any part of the standing ovation when Kate Winslet beat out his Angie for the Best Actress trophy.  Bad attitudes - and Brad Pitt's awful goatee - do not make us happy in our pants.  No awards for you, Brad.

Leave your comment

• Belinda says

  You forgot to mention how bad Melissa George looked in that high school prom dress. No naked flames please

  Posted Tuesday 24 February, 2009 6:46 PM
• Murf says

  Surely you can't be serious old horse face looked terrible. Please take a second look and correct your opinion.

  Posted Tuesday 24 February, 2009 6:48 PM
• Loz says

  belinda, i like to think melissa george was intentionally left out for being a heinous bitch with a fake accent

  Posted Tuesday 24 February, 2009 8:32 PM
• sassy says

  murf ... I think sjp falls into the love it or hate it category this year. what can I say? LOVED IT.

  as for melissa george - right on belinda! especially the lace-up white bodice - it was so ye olde pioneer underclothing. poor form, george.

  http://oherrol.com

  Posted Tuesday 24 February, 2009 8:34 PM
• Marlo says

  Totes agree about SJP. good dress, bad hair/makeup. I loved Miley Cyrus though! I thought she looks cute and well, 16. For once! You didnt mention Heathe ledgers mum though. Her outfit was standout for me. the collar, the bling. nothing says amazing like volume and sparkle. At least thats my motto.

  Posted Wednesday 25 February, 2009 7:32 AM
• Frances says

  Waaaay too many fishtails at this year's Oscars. Me = unimpressed.

  "Angelina Jolie rocked up in a black dress with a smug look on her face. In other news, the sky is blue."
  NAIL ON THE HEAD.

  Posted Wednesday 25 February, 2009 9:00 AM
• Bec says

  Girls, you know i love you - but one more bad word against Kate Winslet and i will have to reconsider.

  Also, since you probs didn't see her as she was on stage at the same time as hugh and efron, The Beyonce looked AMAZING whilst on stage. va va va voom.

  Carry On.

  Posted Wednesday 25 February, 2009 9:28 AM
• bartman says

  Have to agree with Murf, SJP's dress was woeful imo, by comparison to pretty much anyone else's sense of fashion on the night?

  Can't believe she chose that AND had to get on stage to present!

  Posted Wednesday 25 February, 2009 9:45 AM
• Murf says

  C'mon Sassy you can't be serious plese take alook at the photo again, she looks terrible that dress makes her shoulders look massive and her hair is proper 1940's nasty. Just admit you made a mistake and was blinded by your love of S&TC

  Posted Wednesday 25 February, 2009 11:43 AM
• Kiki says

  Admit we made a mistake? NEVER.

  Like most awesome things in the world, you either got the dress or you didn't. We got it.

  Btw I hated every moment of the SATC movie so that certainly didn't blind me.

  http://www.oherrol.com

  Posted Wednesday 25 February, 2009 1:20 PM

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