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Friends With Benefits Rule - Irish Dave Posted by Hamish & Andy 10 October, 2008 - 5:00 PM

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Rules for dealing with Friends With Benefits relationships:

Breakfasting Behaviour:

FB's should never eat breakfast together, under any circumstances - no exceptions.

Once you involve Weekend Colour supplements of any description you are well on your way to a transition to girlfriend.

Dinner Rules:

FB's can eat dinner together but it must be in a really crappy restaurant - absolutely no tablecloths are allowed, the forks must be bent & the service must be appalling.

You will find that the quality of the restaurant will improve in direct proportion to how much closer you are to transitioning away from being an FB - it just happens.

Birthday rules:

No cards can be exchanged as it is impossible to get a "To my beautiful FB" Card.
Only Gifts of a "bedroomial" nature may be exchanged by FB's.

If the gift has some actual thought put into it or isn't of a sexual nature then the evolutionary process is in train, don't feel bad, you aren't in charge, you just work there.

Going Dutch:

If you go Dutch you are FB's - if you feel the compulsion to pay, and insist, even in a crappy restaurant, you are in a "relationship", my friend.

Ladies, if that's not what you want you are duty bound to continue to go splits!

Phone Call behaviour:

If it's just plans being arranged of when and where you are next going to meet then you are an FB.

Talking on the phone is the biggest stretch for guys.

Long phone conversations are the final frontier - once that is happening regularly, you might not consider yourself a boyfriend, but you have a girlfriend!

Listeners Comments Total comments (11) » Post a comment

  • Elly B says

    All I can say is.. L.O.L..... Irish dave has done it again! :D You're awesome man! [Oh and your mates]

    http://www.ellysdesigns.webs.com

    Posted Friday 10 October, 2008 10:23 PM
  • maddi m says

    Irish dave and ur mates u rock
    would it be possible to get someother members of the star chamber to share some rules it would be really awseome to listen to some of one of your meetings!!!
    lol

    Posted Monday 13 October, 2008 4:49 PM
  • KittyChick says

    YAY it's irish dave. Times arechanging guys, no more. The world of marriage counsellors are over... it's now all irish dave.

    Posted Monday 13 October, 2008 7:54 PM
  • Claire says

    Being a Friend with Benefits was great, but sometimes he forgot about the friend part. It became all about the benefits. I protested by not shaving my legs but alas, it turns out he was not that fussy..

    Posted Tuesday 14 October, 2008 2:43 AM
  • Deb K says

    I love this segment, keep it up :-)

    Posted Tuesday 14 October, 2008 4:50 PM
  • Deb K says

    I love this segment, keep those topics coming :-)

    Posted Tuesday 14 October, 2008 4:51 PM
  • Altair says

    Honestly.... Irish Dave your a Genius

    But just quietly how do you come up with all of this??

    PS. i dont doubt the rules

    Altair

    http://www.google.com

    Posted Tuesday 14 October, 2008 5:53 PM
  • Jem says

    One area that wasn't mentioned by the Star Chamber- whats the go with sleepovers? When is a FB allowed to stay over, and when are you allowed to stay at their house? Whats the rules about this?

    10 points on this segement.

    Posted Thursday 16 October, 2008 3:27 PM
  • laura says

    TAKE IRISH DAVE ON CARAVAN OF COURAGE!

    Posted Friday 17 October, 2008 1:05 AM
  • right on says

    i think food is completely out of the question when ur FBs... having to talk about more than where and when the next meeting happens is wierd. NO FOOD!! And no gifts. unless you happen to have had a platonic relationship before the FB then gifts are a waste of time completely. its just business.

    Posted Wednesday 29 October, 2008 6:17 PM

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